Monday, May 10, 2010

H&H Part 21 - Hollywood Donuts

Back online again.

As usual, I end up at a farewell party at the bar for Dan Cooper, the production designer who's off to do two western movies, and he's not all that unhappy to be leaving our troubled show. He leaves Lauren in charge and when I act surprised she glares at me, I realize that the  woman doing a man's job issue has been misunderstood and I attempt an awkward back step. I've never thought that and have always respected women filmmakers and in some instances mentored them.

But later, Lauren and her sister Marilyn pass me little notes, letters from Finbar the stalker that they've written, laughing as I read them. They sit across from each other between men who do their best to impress the two sisters. For awhile I watch the dance that occurs between them and the men, and I realize I'm in writer mode now, studying people and what they do. They laugh at jokes, smile, nod and generally capture the hearts.

For me it's welcomed, not having to deal with Kaplan and Jonathan and Mahon and Hilda the German money.

Erica is there, getting attention from the men that are too far from the sisters. Raoul, one of the actors shouts at me to write a scene for him so I grab crayon and paper on the table and write a simple first-grade level page of a screenplay.

Someone jokes that it's a Kaplan script who left early after giving a farewell speech to Dan's leaving. I think Kaplan knows how much he's disliked. The crayon script makes its rounds, everybody adding a line and I can't help notice how good everybody feels, made better by knowing that the show is rolling towards the last episodes and soon it will be over.

Then Erica grabs my arm and says she wants to look at the moon over the river. Now you have to remember Erica was one of my fantasy loves as a teenager and now she asks me to go and look at the moon.

Do I need to say how I feel?

Died and gone to heaven.

The moon is indeed over the valley and it's almost like a Hollywood scene. We sit on a bench and talk; the show, the mountains, Germany, the Rocky Mountains, I learn more about her life, how she as a young girl remembered powdered milk after the war ended in Germany and how some Hollywood types referred to her as a Nazi. It was a long hard road to her success and I realize she has earned it.

Then I pitch her my plan. It had come up weeks before and lurked in my mind for days now. I had the perfect business plan.

Hollywood Donuts. 

I had noticed that there were no donut shops in Jackson. There was HavaJava but that was closed early. And a donut shop is different anyway. There were truckers passing through the town all night, heading for distant cities.

Erica didn't know what a donut was but influenced by the drinks she had, she came up with a name. 

Hollywood Donuts.

And our slogan would be "Hollywood Donuts Are Forever".

I didn't know what it meant, but it sounded good. We now knew enough locals to be able to finance Hollywood Donuts and it would feature the Erica combo, coffee and Black Forest Cake. Not officially a donut but it would be the signature treat.

But the night is just beginning.

At 11:30 Erica wants to dance so we leave the movie scene I created in my mind and head tot the often wild hotel bar downtown. There she succeeds in dragging me onto the dance floor and proceeds to show her stuff. For me, it's totally embarrassing and I do everything I try to get off the floor. She ends the dance by jumping on me and the crowd roars.

What happens next that is both scary and amazing.

I join Gunther, a German actor who was flown here to play the part of the dying man in the script I wrote. Gunther and I get along well and he says, of Erica; "she has a lot of energy".

Then I notice that three mountain types approach us. One is bearded, heavy set, no necks and obviously tough. His two buddies are pretty much the same, less the beards. Beard stands about a foot in front of me and says...

"So that's the movie star."

I nod. Then he throws his cigarette, it hits my chest and bounces off. Gunther steps closer to me. Beard then says "you movie people, you really think you're something". I say "not really". He stares blankly at me.

"They don't like Germans", Gunther says and I add, "And they don't like me." I lean into Gunther and say that if they swing at us we have to hit the one closest to us and then head for the door. It's suddenly become a western cowboy showdown. And Gunther and I are really not fighters.

The big guys move in and just as they step ahead... Erica literally flows in between us and the mountain men and says something that sounds like "you look very strong" at Beard who stops, momentarily dazed. They are completely stunned, and I'm not sure if it was her sudden appearance, or them realizing they are looking face-to-face with a real movie star, but she has them in her hands...

... at least for a few more seconds.

In which she grabs my hand, twirls like a ballerina and drags Gunther and I away as smooth as a good bourbon. The next thing we know, we're outside. Once we get into my SUV and drive away, all three of us laugh. Safe and sound, thanks to a movie star.

Erica nods, says "sometimes it works, sometime it doesn't".

(Wed: My episode is filmed)

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