Survival list for screenwriters

There's probably a lot of writers who have posted their particular ways of surviving the craft or at least hanging on. Here's my suggestions;

1. Just because someone wants to read your script, they probably will say it was nice and if you have anything else.

2. When you get two or three or even six people interested in your script, they'll probably disappear within a week.

3. If you only have one script, you might as well quit. 

4. If you have ten specs on your shelf, you might have a career. And your writing will have improved.

5. If you have thirty-two specs on your shelf, you have a career. And you'll be really good at this writing game.

6. Buy a guitar and learn how to impress everyone with your version of Stairway To Heaven.

7. Find a favorite place to go to when your deal falls through. I go to the Reel Inn on Ocean hwy near Topanga and then to Serra Retreat in Malibu where you get the best view of Malibu there is, and you can contemplate. I don't, but it's a nice place to hang out for an hour or two.

8. Listen to Creedence Clearwater Revival's best hits.

9. Consider reading Gone Girl but don't do it. It'll just make you more unhappy.

10. Encourage your friend who just sold a script as much as you can, not because you are happy for them, but maybe he'll take one of your scripts in to his contact.

11. When you're out of ideas, watch as many episodes of Twilight Zone because almost every idea was done and you can copy it.

12. When you have a lot of ideas, find the one you like the least.

13. Make sure you get a 310 area code, and 818 and 323 because the others will show that you're an amateur.

14. Avoid writing at Starbucks, no script ever written there was ever made. Instead watch the people.

15.  When someone calls you on the phone to buy a script you forgot about, ask them why they chose that script.

Or just ignore me, it's Monday and I'm way behind everything.