Reading readers

adj. plausible - credible, believable

One of the most disliked jobs in the film and TV business is probably "the reader".

These are the people who read screenplays for their production company or studio or producer. There's a couple of reasons why companies enlist readers; it could be the volume of screenplays a company would get and/or the producer is just too lazy and finally because the producer probably can't read because they never learned how to or they have an attention-deficit problem.

Having said that, there are a lot of producers who do actually read screenplays that are submitted or passed alone from a friend or another company or a studio.

But then there's the reader; you'll notice ads in places like Mandy and producers who are "too busy". There's actually two types of readers; one type is hired by the production company and the other is freelance. 

The production company will probably pay the reader a regular salary which may amount to

maybe a few hundred dollars a week. If the reader is good, they might rise to a development executive. With that label, they get business cards and probably the same amount of money.

Freelances are often made up of writers who haven't worked for awhile or aspiring writers who hope to make friends with the production company so they can have access to the producers with their screenplays.

So what do readers do?

Naturally they read screenplays, sometimes lots of them. And they have the power to either push a writer's screenplay further or the quash it.

The funny part about this is that most readers really haven't had any kind of training except for reading comic books for maybe even a real book or two. If I sound a little rough on these people, I'll tell you why --

Because screenwriters do not like readers.

How would you like it if you were a good pie maker and made a pie to someone who knows nothing about pie-making -- and he says it's not very good.

Okay, that's a weak comparison, but it is true.

Free-lance readers get paid anywhere from $10 a screenplay up to $100 (most of them at the bottom range).

I recently had a screenplay on The Black List and while the reader gave a glowing report to the overall screenplay, they expressed some doubts about the "plausibility" of one story line.

That got me going.

The scene in mind was a doctor who just happened to be in Paris and who witnessed a man having a heart attack and assisted the man to the hospital wherein CIA agents enlisted him for a special job.

There's more to the scene that explains why but let's go with that.

When questioned why the doctor happened to be there I answered simply "because he was" and "that's part of the story". Is it likely to happen? No. But could it happen? Yes.

It's very difficult to explain why; why did Bruce Willis in Die Hard happen to encounter terrorists when he just wanted to see his wife?  What's the odds of that happening to anyone?

How about Sandra Bullock in Gravity. Why did debris cast her off the space station at that moment? Astronauts regularly go out on space walks.  Why did it happen to her?

And how about a classic; Why does Ingrid Bergman and her husband come to Casablanca to escape the Nazis when the Nazis control Casablanca?

Does that make sense?

Is it plausible? I think Casablanca not plausible. Does anyone complain about it. No, the story is so good you don't look at logic.

Could a doctor from the U.S.A. come to Paris because he was kicked out of a hospital for drinking and decided to get out of the country for awhile and end up in a bar in Paris where someone has a heart attack?

Is it plausible that someone can fly like Superman? 

That's not plausible, at least for now.

While writers do not like readers because of the control they have over a writer's screenplay, readers don't always like us. A lot of them are envious because they are closet writers. It is a mutual non-admiration club.

I think the majority of readers give their producers want they want; that's why we see the same kind of movies over and over again, rom-coms (romantic comedies) and superheroes. 

Am I just grumpy, does it change anything... 

Part 2: Monday  The Black List

No more excuses...

And I mean it. Really.

Starting today I start on a project. Any project. Anything that strikes the muse, as they say.

But maybe I should take out the garbage. That's at least 5 minutes. Maybe I can find some other chore that takes longer.

The sun outside is shining early morning bright. It rained a little last night but as most of the time, it's gone by sunrise.

And this is how I spend Monday mornings, trying to figure out if I should start a project, finish a project or come up with a new project. Someone asked me what I do every day.

I look for work.

 As always I have legitimate projects to work on with the hope someone will buy one of them. But January is over in a few days and February is a fast month. You can see the previous blog to see what I'm playing around with.

This week, my Alberta producer will finish a new budget for Emperor of Mars, something around $1.6 million. Fifteen years ago the budget would have been $3.5 million but those days are gone. As I've said before, around 2005, TV movies, which I did most of my work in, started to disappear. Reality shows started in the form of Survivors.

And it took off. And at a lot cheaper prices.

And it became a buyer's market. Wherein Hallmark of Lifetime would have paid $3 million and more, they now pay around $350,000. 

Which is about 90% less.

Which means that producers have to scrounge around for money from anywhere, which means foreign countries, which means Canada and Great Britain, as most foreign language countries don't want our hundreds of Christmas movies.

And what about the crew?

You still need a sizeable crew to make a TV movie and larger for a studio-based movie.  How can a producer make a movie at 90% less cost?

They used to shoot TV movies in 4 weeks. 

Now they shoot them in 12 days. My Christmas story was made in 12 days. 

What does this mean?

You need to shoot and run. You can't do too many "over the shoulders" shots, and keep the cast small and fewer locations. 

And they can do it. 

But the only way to really make money is to be a producer like Larry Levinson, who makes 10 or 20 at a time. This way the company can get a cheaper rate for labor if the crews are guaranteed a year's steady work.

So what's the worst thing for writers;

We're being made minimum fees rather than fees our agents say we should have. There's always the privileged, writers who always work, but most of us trudge along and create our little projects that we hope someday will be bought.

And the funny thing is, some of them do get bought.
 

This and that

A little boy's postcard.

I've spend pretty much doing a lot of nothing, having handed in the screenplay I was assigned for, the one for the actor. He liked it alot and we even came up with a great title, which I would love to share but not until the screenplay is registered.

I don't usually register my screenplays, but sometimes, if you think you have something really unique, it's best to do that.

I know everyone says "they're gonna steal your idea", but in the last 23 years I've lived here nobody's stolen any ideas from me. And I pass around my screenplays to anyone who'll take it. 

Hell, I'll stand on a streetcorner and hand out the damn things.

Some writers I know, and don't really give a damn about, always say they never show their spec scripts to anybody except the big guys.

Well, the big guys don't give a damn and if you don't show your screenplay to a lot of people, you just might not get it read.

And never get it made. 

The last week of January is always the time I try to get something going. I usually get at least two or three deals by now, of which they will mysteriously fall away within a month or two.

There is the possibility I might get an actual writing assignment for a story that's just been published but it's not certain so I don't hold my breath.

But there's always the bear.

Yes, Gentle Ben, that bear movie that some of you cringe at, but the one who consistently brings me a few bucks now and then. Usually around $500-600 a year, sometimes more, in residuals. That money for free as I always say.

In fact I'm thinking of doing another, hell, the bear is ready for a new version. So towards this I'm finding out who has the copyright and then try to make a deal for an all-new Ben.

But another year is here, and another year for disappointments and great things and maybe I get to make either Ghostkeeper or Emperor of Mars. 

The great thing is, you never know.

So what's the photo above? 

I recently found it, it's a post card that I never mailed, but wherein I wanted to find out the name of a pretty actress in a movie with Hal March, a 1950's comic. So many years later, I read it and found some comfort in the fact that I was doing what I was doing years ago.

Trying to get into the movies.
 

Finish the old and plan the new...

As I've mentioned before, I've been working on a screenplay for an actor and a friend who's a director with the object of making the screenplay in late fall or later. The good news is that I finished the screenplay and the actor and director liked what I did.

The funny thing is that I still get nervous and anxiety-ridden when I have to finally hand over the screenplay to someone, even after all these years and dozens of screenplays, most of which were never made.

When it's more personal, as both the actor and director are friends, I get more afraid that they will be disappointed. If it were a basic writing job, I don't really get nervous, I just tell the producer I've finished and where's the check.

Obviously with friends it's a little more awkward. What if they don't like it? I don't know how other writers do it, but for me it's always nerve-wracking.

So, they liked it, at least the actor did, the director hasn't read it yet as far as I know. But the project is driven by the actor, it was his story and even though we're all committed to work on the project, I'm pleased that he likes it. It is his story, as interpreted by me. 

When it comes time to hand it over to the director to film, I hand it over. There's an old saying that the first draft is the writer's, the second draft is the producer's, the third draft is the director's and the last draft is the actors.

After that, there is a variety of people who get to have input, some directors don't like the writer on set, but I feel that they're more insecure or don't really like to share the work. As I've directed three movies as well as a hundred or so commercials, I invite everyone on the crew to offer ideas, I realize that I'm not the smartest person around and I can always learn from someone else.

I've also worked with good directors who don't mind me being around. Actually I don't really like being on set anyways, because it means two things; that they're going to ask me to fix up some scenes, or they're not going to ask me and I hang around the craft services table eating food all the time.

I'd just as soon go home.

So what do I think of the screenplay?

I think it's not bad, not great, and maybe it can use a little more input from one or more of the above-the-line people, meaning actor, director and/or producer. I've mentioned that term before, and to refresh some of you, it relates to the "creative people" on a movie or TV show. In other words, the director, the producer and the actors.

But that's another blog.

For now, I'm planning the projects I have in front of me:

1. Continue to work with the WW11 pilot who's 90 yrs old. I want to finish his book and possibly do a documentary. I'll be filming his interview next week.

2. Write a new screenplay. I'm thinking of a Mars movie.

3. I have to work more on my two books; Emperor of Mars and The Working Writer's Screenplay, both of which need more attention in order to sell more.

4. I've started to write my "bathroom book", a collection of stories from all the roadtrips I've done in the last 30 years, entitled "How To Not Get Beat-up In A Smalltown Bar."

5. A possible novelization of my screenplay Secrets of The Salmon, a drama situated along the Oregon coast. This screenplay was optioned at ABC.

If you haven't noticed, there's one thing in common with all of the above. I'm not getting paid. Actually I'm spending money on all of those projects.

But not to worry as I do have a few projects that could be made this year with two producers interested and even taking the screenplays to financiers.

At least that's what they say. 

And producers never lie... do they?

A Martian Wouldn't Say That

Over the way too many years of my being in this business, I've heard a lot of dumb things, not to mention saying dumb things myself. I thought you might like to hear some of the things producers and/or development executives say.

The title above is a book written by Leonard B. Stern and Diane L. Robison. Stern was a producer for the sitcom Get Smart.

So again, these are the comments that network execs have said:

"We cast a black actor as our lead but the way you've written the dialog you can't tell"
That's what we intended.
Okay but how will the audience know he's black." 

"We are convinced that your current episode is unwatchable. We'll have to run it in the summer."

"Considering today's current sensibilities, when you discuss euthanasia be sure you do so in a positive light."

"In this script, Beverly is described as  on top of everything. Please define "everything".

"This is the best script of the Adams Family we've read in a year. Attached are the notes for the rewrite."

"There are too many hells and damns in the first three episodes, please spread them throughout the season."

"I think you're making a mistake having so many French involved in the production of Les Miserables". 

From a script for My Favorite Martian: "Please change the dialog on page 14. A Martian wouldn't say that."

"Please disregard the notes we were unable to send you."

"Can we make the rabbi less Jewish?"

"We regret to inform you we don't have any notes?"

"I'm really excited by your new script. Those who have read it tell me it's exceptionally good."

Anyways, this gives you an idea of what you could face when you write a screenplay or script. 

The Globes

Every year I say I won't watch the Golden Globe awards show and somehow I change my mind. I don't really like what they do, a great example is giving an award to the movie American Hustle, for comedy or musical. It was neither. 

And I really was upset at making Jacqueline Bisset walk from what seemed like the parking lot somewhere. As my friend said, Bisset was in the old folks seats way back somewhere in the auditorium

I remember her first big movie, Two For The Road, in which she had a very small part. It's a great movie about marriage, try to find it. Then she made a movie called The Sweet Ride, about a bunch of losers living in Malibu.

Then she appeared in one of my favorite movies.

Bullit. With Steve McQueen (the original Steve McQueen), the movie most known for it's classic chase scene with a Dodge Charger and a 1968 Mustang. She wasn't in the chase, but the movie established her in Hollywood. Another must-see movie.

Now for Tina and Amy.

Tina Fey is undoubtedly one of the best comedy writers and performers of her generation and she is good at it. Amy Poehler, on the other hand, is just pretty average when you put her up against the great Saturday Night Live comedians.

The Globes are the result of a bunch of foreign critics who make their living by writing stories about movie stars and are, for the most part, a bunch of people who like to be different than Americans. 

Other dislikes; Spike Jonz getting an award, Leonardo getting an award and as much as I like Jennifer Lawrence, she really didn't do enough in American Hustle to win an award. 

There were a lot of good bits though, and it was okay but the question now is what will the oscars be... Ellen Degeneres? Hmnnn... It ain't Tina for sure.

This could be the year when the Globes outshine the Oscars.

Little bit behind

Will post later today, have a rush rewrite that has to go out asap.