Friday, January 17, 2014

A Martian Wouldn't Say That

Over the way too many years of my being in this business, I've heard a lot of dumb things, not to mention saying dumb things myself. I thought you might like to hear some of the things producers and/or development executives say.

The title above is a book written by Leonard B. Stern and Diane L. Robison. Stern was a producer for the sitcom Get Smart.

So again, these are the comments that network execs have said:

"We cast a black actor as our lead but the way you've written the dialog you can't tell"
That's what we intended.
Okay but how will the audience know he's black." 

"We are convinced that your current episode is unwatchable. We'll have to run it in the summer."

"Considering today's current sensibilities, when you discuss euthanasia be sure you do so in a positive light."

"In this script, Beverly is described as  on top of everything. Please define "everything".

"This is the best script of the Adams Family we've read in a year. Attached are the notes for the rewrite."

"There are too many hells and damns in the first three episodes, please spread them throughout the season."

"I think you're making a mistake having so many French involved in the production of Les Miserables". 

From a script for My Favorite Martian: "Please change the dialog on page 14. A Martian wouldn't say that."

"Please disregard the notes we were unable to send you."

"Can we make the rabbi less Jewish?"

"We regret to inform you we don't have any notes?"

"I'm really excited by your new script. Those who have read it tell me it's exceptionally good."

Anyways, this gives you an idea of what you could face when you write a screenplay or script. 

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